I follow Him

My thoughts are heavy today.  I will explain what lead up to now in a bit--but my thought this second is what I thought about yesterday: there just isn't an excuse.  We have no excuse before God.  He has to be made known at any and every cost.  "To live is Christ" is more than a phase--it's a life.  It means when I am in pain, I still follow him.  It means that when everyone abandons me and I'm the only Christian left on earth, I follow him.  It means that when I lose loved ones or never see them again--I still follow him.  When I don't understand, I follow him.  In the scheme of eternity, what is this moment anyway?  What is this temporary hurdle but something to jump over in my pursuit of him--he alone knows what's best, how dare I try to medicate myself with band aids?  They're just covering the real battle scar.  We just don't have an excuse: to live is Christ.  What is hunger?  What is longing?  What is pain?  What are trials?  It's all crap.  It's all just a lie to keep me from chasing Him.  I refuse to satisfy the longings that won't sustain me.  I refuse mediocrity.  "Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord." -Ps. 31:24